.....You Might be a Mommy

So while listening to Redneck comedy radio today on our way to a baby dedication, I thought that Jeff Foxworthy's usual go-to could very easily apply to mommyhood! So here we go, feel free to add to the list with your own!

1.  If you refuse to trim your pinky fingernail because you use it to get booger's out of your child's nose....you might be a mommy.
2.  If you have a bin for each child in your house labeled "So-and-So's Barf Bucket"....you might be a mommy.
3.  If you have ever used a breast pump in the passenger seat while your husband was driving to meet friends for dinner....you might be a mommy.
4.  If you have ever eaten something off of your child's face that you thought was left-over banana only to find out that it was a booger.....you might be a mommy.
5.  If you have thought of buying a dog so you don't have to sweep as much.....you might be a mommy.
6.  If you have ever left pee in your toilet overnight for fear of flushing and waking the baby up.....you might be a mommy.
7.  Speaking of toilets, if you have ever had to clean wet toilet paper chunks off of the bottom of your child's feet because he decided standing in the toilet would be fun.....you might be a mommy.
8.  If you have ever uttered the words, DO NOT play with your brother's dirty diaper.....you might be a mommy.
9. If you know what I mean when I say "toxic teething poop," you might be a mommy.
10.  If you have ever abandoned a cart in the middle of a store and rushed out holding your boobs because you "let-down" and your baby was at home, you might be a mommy.
11.  If you have ever debated with your best friend whether those at-home breast milk testers are trashy or an essential, you might be a mommy.
12.  If you have ever cleaned poop off of an adjacent wall, you might be a mommy.
13.  If you think dimple butts are cuter than any model in the Men's Health magazine your husband clearly hasn't read in 3 years but still sits in the magazine holder by the toilet, you might be a mommy.
14.  If you have ever sung "You gotta have socks on your feet, c'mon everybody....socks on your feet" (sung to the tune of "Sex on the Beach") or any other rendition of a song you listened to when you had a life once, you might be a mommy.
15.  If you have an automatic catch reflex instead of an automatic drop the baby reflex when you hear a barf noise coming from your or any other baby, you might be a mommy.
16.  If you know all the words to every title sequence (PS - I only know what they are called because of Phinneus and Ferb) on Disney Channel, you might be a mommy.
17.  If you, in your spare time, find yourself humming those songs while you run errands, you might be a mommy.
18.  If you download said title sequences onto your ipod, well, then you're on crack....unless it's to entertain your kid while sitting in the doctor's office waiting room....and then you're just brilliant:o)
19.  If you have ever been excited to find a piece of your child's flesh (i.e. belly button stump or circumcision skin) in your child's diaper, you might be a mommy.
20.  If you don't even chuckle at the name "Butt Paste" anymore, you might be a mommy.
21.  If you apologize to people on the plane in advance, you might be a mommy.  That said, if you pick the cutest outfits you can find for your children before plane trips (I'm talking mini santa suits here) in the hope that the clothes might serve as some kind of distraction from the satan spawn your child turns into on the flight, you might be a mommy.
22.  If you are 85% sure that the janitor at the hospital saw your hoohah....and you don't care, you might be a mommy.
23.  If you have ever been whacked in the head from behind with a meat tenderizer by your toddler, you might be a mommy.
24.  If you have ever been totally in love with someone the moment you laid eyes on them despite the fact that they were bald, toothless, only 21 inches tall, pooped on you all the time, puked on you all the time, and kept you awake all night (not in a good way...wink wink), you might be a mommy.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE add to this list!!! These were only the first 20 or so things I could think of in the 20 minutes I was sitting here so I can only imagine the additions to the list...I can't wait to laugh my butt off!!!